I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
