One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
