trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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