: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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