Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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