No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
