i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
