I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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