Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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