We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
