The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
