well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
ok first of all what the fuck
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
