wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize