Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
