it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
