if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
