I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I'm bleeding and have questions
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize