She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
