I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
