Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I intend to get homeless drunk
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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