I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My dick has a subreddit
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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