wanna go halves on a baby?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
