mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
