she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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