But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
