This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
