We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
