check it out our google latitudes are spooning
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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