I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
