I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Houston, we have a squirter
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
