So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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