This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
