Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
