Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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