At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
