looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
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Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
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The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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