Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
