I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize