Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
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well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
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Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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