ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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