puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
