Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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