The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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