ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
