At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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