i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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