I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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