he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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