last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
