she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
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maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
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I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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