Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
