Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
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