There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
