it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
