Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
