I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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