Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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