There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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