I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
