Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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