'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
