it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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