I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Are my feet made of real feet?
What a dumb baby whore.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
