I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
