At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he puts the penis in happiness.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
