ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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