I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
