"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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