ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
