two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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