I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize