did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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