Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
